Sermon Transcript:All right, thank you all for being here. Thank you all for listening online. Of course, we began a series last week on fatherhood. And I, I trust that, if you haven't heard that you can go back and listen to that. But one of the things that came out of it is just the truth in the reality that we all long for a fatherly blessing. Our earthly fathers and we talked about they may be good, bad and different are a mixed bag. And we are just admitting that for many of us in the room, we've got a lot, a lot of baggage, a lot of water under the bridge on this issue on these issues of fatherhood or daddy issues a lot a lot of miles on these tires on this journey. We recognize that there are many ways in which our relationship with our earthly fathers has been broken, even if we felt like we had a pretty good situation. There's aspects, there's things that we've taken on, from our dads that we recognize as we get closer to God. And as we look at the scriptures, that that's not of Him, and that God may have us taking a different path. The relationship with our Heavenly Father, a lot of times is broken because of some of these swirling issues that are still going on in our heads and our hearts. That's why worship sometimes is so hard for us, or non existent. That's why we began last week with the psalmist just crying out one thing, one thing that I asked that I may gaze upon your beauty, oh, Lord, what is that whole idea here, that whole idea is to say that the reason why Father issues are important is because it directly correlates and relates to how we relate to God in worship. And so whether it's worship, through singing through songs, through parent prayer, through Bible reading, oftentimes, it's hard or non existent, because that relationship either isn't there, or it's extremely, extremely fractured, broken. One of these we talked about last week is that there are gaps, there are holes in our relationship with our Heavenly Father, because of the actions whether positive or negative, from our earthly fathers. It is about a relationship, though I want us to see that because even when it comes to church, sometimes in your home, but even when it comes to church, a lot of times we think about laws and rules, and about the fact that okay, maybe I've broken, something broken, something that I know is wrong, because my conscience says so we're because I know that's what the Bible says, yes, that may be true. But first and foremost, we have to understand that it is about a relationship, do's and don'ts aren't the primary problem. They are always byproducts of our hearts. If we just stayed in the realm of law and do's and don'ts, we are not getting a full picture of the gospel. And we will not have the power to do what God is calling us to do by the power of his Spirit, to create for ourselves, new lineages, new family trees, new paths for our hearts, and those that follow behind us. What we're talking about here, of course, again, is mainly our heart towards our Heavenly Father, and again, your heart. I don't I don't know where it's at this morning. I mean, sometimes you think, man, that was just oh, he was just okay. Or he was bad, or I thought I had a pretty good one, whatever it is, we need to at least acknowledge the reality and be convinced that our relationships with our earthly fathers make a difference in our interpersonal relationships and our romantic relationships in terms of how we relate to our kids. Even if you say no, I've moved on from that, like I've had some issues I've taught through with some some counselors or some professionals or some children, or it's, I mean, some, some different people who just helped me along to see that you have, I've got all that and I've moved on from that maybe you moved on from your dad physically, mentally, or both. But if you're not honest about the roles that that environment played with our interaction with God or others, we will always be severely handicapped hindered, and what we can do in our relationship with God and others, even if you have a staunch you know, sort of clench your fists and like, I don't need him, me and mom, we did okay, or we did fine without him that is taking a position. So what I want to do is I want to move through some ways in which we may have experienced our earthly dads and one of the first ones I want us to acknowledge is that you and I, we may have had an absent father. We may have had an absent father. He wasn't there, either through death, divorce his own indifference. It doesn't matter. He's not there. There was no playing video games with dad there was no throwing ball or catch. There was no hugs.There definitely wasn't any sort of blessing that you're talking about a fatherly blessing A dad buzzin or anything like that. And so in the absence of Dad, how did you and I try to fill that void? What did we do? What did we ask of others? What did we, what did we try? What failed us or what even lead us to grace, because here's what we're going to find as we think about our relationships with our earthly fathers, when we think about how that affected us for good, bad or ill or whatever, we're just going to always kind of rub up against the fact that God has a lot of grace for us, as we have come to him. And a lot of times, he God is able to navigate through In fact, he must, through our imperfect families in imperfect lies. But yes, we must acknowledge that an absentee father it is an issue, you may have had a season with him or you may have been supplemented by having some other earthly dad figure in your life, or you may have had to step down for a little while.What did it do? What did it do the absence of a dad or at least absence of dad for a season? Did it? Did it make you tough? Right? Sometimes that's what we'll do. We'll, we'll say, Okay, if dad's on here, I've got to I've got to toughen up, did it cause any of us to spiral into addiction? Did we try to fill that void somewhere else? Or with something else? wherever we find ourselves? How does God ultimately reveal Himself to us as the present father, wherever we're at with our circumstances? What is it that God is trying to show us in His Word that will help us fill in those holes and gaps? We're going to start with a couple of verses today. Psalm 46, verse one says this, God is our refuge and strength, a what an ever present help in trouble. So right there from the get go. If you had an absent dad wasn't there for whatever reason, he wasn't there for big chunks of time, in your childhood life or in your adult life. Good news is we have a heavenly Father who is always there. And so one of the things that we're just thinking through as we're thinking through the fact that we're not going to be able to go back and untwist any of our stories, that's not how life works. But we're going to understand how God wants to interact with us as a heavenly Father, and how that can help heal certain parts of our lives and our hearts. First thing I want us to see Psalm 46. One, God has a there, he's an ever present help in time of trouble, even if daddy wasn't, let's go to another verse. This right here, maybe you're familiar with this passage, Jesus right before he goes back up into heaven. And what we often think of as the ascension of Jesus Christ ascending back into heaven after he had been here, and be seen by many witnesses after the resurrection. He's giving his disciples some instructions. And it says, as I'm teaching them, to obey everything I've commanded you, that's what he's talking to his followers. And he says, Surely I'm with you always, always, even to the very end of the age. And so one of the things that we're seeing, Father, Son, let's look at the third and final passage I want us to look at in terms of absenteeism of an earthly dad, but the helper the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance, all that I have said to you. You know, one of the things that we may not thought about in terms of the Trinity is the relational aspect of the Trinity Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, in relationship and communion with one another, and how we worship a Triune God, that we pray to the Father, how, through the blood of Jesus Christ, by what by the power of the Spirit. And so again, as we get deeper into these issues, and thinking about how we're to relate to the Godhead, how we're to relate to our Father in heaven, one of the things I want us to see is just the idea that, that how God reveals Himself to us were to enter into that and that's why, again, worship becomes important. And we think about, okay, here's some gaps. But who is God? What does he promised to do for me, in the presence of some real absenteeism? Number two, your dad could have been an abusive fathercould have been an abusive father, it could have been with words. Again, we know so much about this. And we have felt this in terms of words are tough, maybe being cut down or it can even be debilitating after a little while. So you have the idea of, of abusiveness with words or emotional abuse. It's a real thing, right? It's the idea that we felt condemned or we felt humiliated. We were always kept off balance. Sometimes we don't recognize emotional abuse right off the bat because it's not as obvious as as physical abuse or sexual abuse, but it is that whole idea that there were these these spikes these this Oh,bend down, and you're always sort of off kilter in your home or around. Dad, you think about this, of course, again, with physical abuse or sexual abuse or spiritual abuse. I don't know if you ever thought about this that, that your earthly dad maybe didn't take you to church or even if he took you to church every once in a while it was sporadic, or he didn't really lean in, or maybe he wanted it for you, but he didn't want it for himself. Or he may have led you astray by believing in new ageism, or some other world religion or just totally indifferent, apathetic, it may have led you down the road, wrong spiritually. Maybe you never knew where you stood with dad. And what does that often lead to, but just your head and your heart, it can lead to outright depression, it can lead to anxiety, defensiveness, anger, maybe even suicidal issues. No doubt though, if you and I have had some abusiveness in our past, as far as how our earthly dads related to us, we're going to have some trust issues. Why? Because life becomes a game of survival, right? How's it going to be what's going on? Who, what, what dad am I going to find when I walk into the door today, and then well into your adulthood, you'll find that close relationships are hard, or they elude you, or they tend to burn out quick because this idea of intimacy and vulnerability, they're just too hard. You literally like if you think about the old stick shift, you literally don't have that gear that you can get into because in order to survive in any sort of abusive relationship, you just didn't go there because you didn't want to get slapped or you didn't want to get burned. And so if your dad was an abusive father, we have some gaps, not insurmountable ones. And even if you hear all these things, and you think, Oh, my gosh, I see myself in some of these things. God has grace for that. We'll talk about that in the end. But let's look at some verses about how God relates us think about Hosea two for me what that all is just how, even though we walk and go astray, it's God pursuing us. Here's the truth about who God is. I myself taught Israel how to walk. This is God speaking in the first person, leaving him alone, by the hand, but he doesn't know or even care that it was I who took care of him, I lead Israel long with my ropes of kindness and love. I lifted the yoke from his neck, and I myself stooped to feed him. What are you and I seeing here? We're seeing the opposite of an abusive father. We're seeing one who cares, one who pursues in the midst of what of sometimes those who are trying to lead not caring, or spinning in our face, you understand what I mean by this, you're gonna see that the way God often interacts with us, is in the same way that we as good parents, even though we're trying our best, it doesn't always go as planned. Because why? Because we're oftentimes still dealing with children and childlike states, we're gonna see this again, with Jesus. So that's God the Father, this is Jesus. He is standing over Jerusalem, and he's looking over the city and he knows he's about to go and be crucified. And he says this, oh, Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones, God's messengers, how often I've wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn't let me again, what's going on here? It's the love and the pursuit of not only the Heavenly Father, but of Jesus himself. But it's in the midst of what have often of the people that were in care for not wanting it or fighting that or even spurning that. So where that's again, this is good, just kind of parenting one on one, where's the heart come from? That we can love our kids, even when they're not very loving towards us, we have to look to Heavenly Father, otherwise, what we'll do is we'll, we'll start duking it out at their level, and will will stoop down to immaturity, and we'll say and do things that can lead to all kinds of problems. The third final thing I want us to see in terms of this issue of abuse and howthe Holy Spirit's not like that at all says this right here. This is at the end of the book of Romans, and he's giving some hope. And he's saying, I pray that God, this is Paul talking to the church at Rome, I pray that God the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace, because why? Because he trusted him. This is why I'm telling you it's it's almost a direct correlation that if you had some form of abuse, whatever it was, you will have trust issues with others in the Father in heaven, then he will overflow with competent hope, then you will overflow with competent hope. Through what through the power of the Holy Spirit. You see the Trinity and all this. That's exactly what we're talking about. Here. We need the full godhead, to pull us out of the mire and issues we find ourselves and maybe itwasn't absenteeism. Maybe it wasn't abuse, maybe it was passivity. Maybe passivity had a grip on your dad.You know what I'm talking about here he he, you might have been a household where it didn't do much. It was in the couch, he was waiting for a beer, he was always looking to escape whether it was go to the bar or go hang out with friends or whatever, that mom sort of had to take up the slack or mom ruled, maybe it was always too busy, maybe he was always too distracted, he didn't enter in whatever it was your dad, he was very, very passive. He didn't bring strength, he didn't bring encouragement, it was almost like a non factor. Right? We didn't need him in the household. Because even when he was there, he wasn't really there. Again, if that's your background, you can see where it can lead to all kinds of different things and struggles that we may have. But that is not how God presents Himself to us at all. I think about Psalm 139, it says, this right here, Psalm 139, I can never escape from your spirit.Capital S the whole very spirit of God, I can never get away from your presence. If I go up to heaven, you're there. If I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there, your hand will what guide me and your strength will support me, in the opposite of any sort of passivity that we may have found in our earthly fathers, Jesus Himself, He came in the flesh, he was not passive in his interaction with us as humans here on earth, He was active, and he took the initiative.Next one I want to bring up as maybe dad was performance based. And again, as you see this, we talked about this last week, I brought this whole idea that like many of us are going to see different aspects of our dad don't look at this as some sort of chart to be like, Okay, I had the Yeah, just just 100% I just had the abusive desert. No, no, we see aspects of ourselves and of our earthly fathers. And again, I know sometimes you could throw in Mother's Day, I get that, but it's just this whole idea that maybe your dad was a performance based ad, how do you know that is the whole idea that if you do this, then I'll love you. Right? If you do this, if you jump through these hoops, you'll get that you'll get the praise, you'll get the high five, if it's if it's my way, if it's the way that that I say it comes with conditions, and what ends up happening is that withheld love becomes a motivator for you to do certain things. And if you don't do certain things, I'm going to continue to withhold my praise my love. Here's the problem, though the hoops or the goalposts, they keep getting moved. Do you think okay, if I jump through this hoop, then he will care love notice if I just reach this goal, and what you find is in in performance based parenting, or performance space that you can't ever do enough, and you often feel crippled or beat down, he feels like you have to earn your way, not only to your parents approval, but then you often which is natural in our own immaturity will come to God with this kind of trying to seek God's approval, just on a different treadmill, just on different train.You think No, thanks. And good. No thanks. I don't want that either. Because that's not the gospel at all. And again, we're talking about the gospel message at the end. But it's just that whole idea. There's just a lot of resting and trusting even in the midst of a lot of betrayal, and distrust that's been handed down or given to us. Let's look at a verse here.Think about this. This is how God interacts with us. This is getting to some of the heart of the gospel. This isn't the book of Romans, and it says this when we were utterly helpless. Christ came to us at just the right time and died for us sinners.So how are we doing? Are we are we are we the captain of the football team? Are we the champion of soccer, gymnastics, or academically? Or, you know, that's the video game? No, when we were utterly helpless, that's when Christ came and died for us sinners. Now most people would not be willing to die would not be willing to die for an upright person. So while he's saying there is like picturing yourself as some sort of like bodyguard right and so what you're gonna say is if you were a bodyguard to someone on the streets of El Paso and even if they were a bridei don't know i think when push comes to shove if they're gonna shoot them or me I think I'm just gonna kind of sit by the way that's what it's basically saying is saying now most people would not even be would not be even be willing to die for an upright person. He was a good person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good to say, oh, maybe you know, maybe he's just you know, some sort of really, really great philanthropist or person that just okay, maybe, but here's the deal.But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were white. While we were champions. While we were amazing, while we look good while we struggled know why, what, while we are still sinners, this is how God interacts with us. It is not like any sort of performance based parenting that you might have experienced. It is not like the passivity that maybe gripped your father. It is not, of course, the abuse at all, but it is the idea that he comesin enters into our lives. Next thing you might have been stuck with is some sort of antagonistic daddy, you'll know this if you had a father and he's always sort of fighting within you fighting you to remain the top dog. You're not that great, and he's better than you. And you kind of have to be on the defensive, because it's always sort of this combativeness between you and your father, dad is an adversary, it's a very kind of like hostile presence when he enters the room, he may suck up all the oxygen, you may have had a dad, if he's antagonistic, you'll know you have that kind of father because he's just constantly pointing out your flaws and your failures, not in a way that's helpful, as far as they'll say to I'm just trying to be be helpful. Okay, always that way. You try something new, you stick your neck out there, you get slapped, or get your head, chopped off. This antagonistic data, of course, is not the way to go. And you know, I was thinking about First Corinthians, I mean,yeah, First Corinthians, second Corinthians chapter three. And it just talks about this whole idea of like, we understand that in the Old Testament, that when you went to worship, that, you would often have this this law in the back of your mind, because Moses would have brought down the 10 commandments. And when he saw just the backside of God, the glory was so great that it had to have a veil. And so he gets into verse 16, of chapter three, and it says this, but whenever someone turns to the Lord, this is just you and me. This is New Testament, New Covenant stuff, the veil is taken away. In other words, that sort of barrier between us and God, the Father is taken away. This is New Covenant stuff, new spirit stuff for the Lord is the Spirit. And wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there's freedom. Now, this is so important. Now, a lot of times, freedom can get a bad rap in Christian circles, because you think, Okay, now I'm free to do whatever I want. And what you mean by that is I'm free to kind of sin and let it all hang out. That's not what this kind of freedom is. It's that freedom from the oppression of never doing anything, right. It's that freedom that you and I find ourselves under because of some abusiveness emotional or otherwise, it's that freedom to be able to get into that gear of love and kindness and pity and compassion and empathy for others. Even it wasn't wasn't shown to us or modeled to us, because we have a heavenly father who has and has done that. That's the freedom we're talking about. And don't you and I want that. Because so many of us, we walk around with our heads hung low, because of our daddy issues. So all of us who have had that veil removed, can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. This is what we want for our lives. Do you go in there next next slide.And the Lord who is the spirit, I told you, it's all Trinitarian. There in terms of our worship and growth and interaction with God, the Father makes us more and more like him, as we are changed into His glorious image. There is hope for you and I, because so many of us, we think we're stuck. Because this negativity and this abuse, I can see it in grandpa, I've heard stories of great grandpa, I see it in my dad, and I see it in myself. And I'm just here to tell you about by the power of the Spirit, things can change. Things can change, and we need to ask ourselves, what's the best case scenario?Last one I want us to see here is Daddy was empowering and turned our hearts and affections towards Christ. Now I've told you already, that as you have looked at this list, as we talked about ways in which we may have had fathers that weren't the best examples. We're not meant to just always sort of launch bombs that direction. Because if we live that way, you and I know that's a losing game as well. were meant to ask ourselves now what about me? How am I now to live because I see some of those bad tendencies in me and, and even if you had a pretty good dad, they many of us in the room would say I got nowhere near some sort of empowering dad, who's turning my heart in my affections towards Christ. If you and I didn't have that, that doesn't mean we can't be that for others. Right doesn't mean that we can do that and you thinkMan, the wounds are too great. Like, pastor, I'm still I'm bleeding now, these kinds of sermons are hard to teach and hard to talk about and they're hard to receive. I know because what we're doing is we're putting a spotlight on wounds. We're putting a spotlight on pain. Jesus gets that too. He was a spectacle outside the city in the streets where he literally had wounds on his side and nail pierced hands. And What do the Scriptures say about those moments? Looking forward and looking back? Isaiah 53, talking about the suffering servant says This right here was fit 3436 Surely took up our pain and bore our sufferings, yet we considered him punished by God. So even right now you think, man, I'm hurting, I'm suffering. Sure, the Lord Savior, He took that up. But we considered him punished by God stricken by him and afflicted, but he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds, we are healed. There is hope there is real messianic hope, weigh in the past, in the present and weigh in the future for our wounds. We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned our own way. But the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. This is tough, this is tough, when we begin to know our shortcomings, or the shortcomings of our fathers around us here on Earth. So what do we do right now, because you're sitting there thinking how much was be sustained till Monday, or Sunday night, even for many of us Sunday afternoon three, maybe even some of us, what we have to do is we have to drink deep of the truth that you and I are a son and daughter of the king. That's what we have to do. If you look at all this as rules, or if you try to put up a chart and say, Okay, I'm going to unplug that unhealth that my dad did. And I'm now going to plug in and try to be the best darn mom or dad that I can be, you and I are missing the point. Because it's about a relationship. And it's about worship. And it's about us, resting in the truth, that we have a daddy in heaven that loves us, and that we are son and daughter of him acknowledgement in knowledge, what it can sometimes do is it can sometimes help us to see this is the first part of the process. This is a second sermon in a series on fatherhood. And what I would say is stick with the process don't quit. So in other words, like a lot is what we'll do is we'll take a little bit of learning, and you may have heard this from your mentors, or wise people, a little bit of learning can be a dangerous thing. It's like we're on the operating table. And the surgery hasn't been done yet. But we've started to be exposed to where we know where the problem areas are, or where some of the wounds are. And I would just say, Don't quit now in trying to lean in because we're just starting this series. Next week, we're gonna go even further as we explore even deeper about our relationship with God, and just how deep are those wounds, but how amazing and miraculous can be that healing. But I feel like for many of us, what we'll do is we'll start a training. And we'll get a little bit of a little bit of hope, a little bit of, of good things sort of rolling in our life. And then we'll quit. How many of us have done this with, with new, like workout routines, a little bit of healthy eating for a couple of weeks? A little bit of training down at the taekwondo place or whatever, it's okay, I kind of got this I'm good. I can go out and get in a fight. No, you can't. No, you can't. I think about this in terms of one of my favorite movies, you know, Star Wars where Luke Skywalker and Empire Strikes Back, he gets some training from Yoda. And he's like, I'm running off and I'm gonna go face Darth Vader. Now, don't do it, you end up with your arm chopped off and down a deep, dark hole.You've got to cry out to sister in hopes she hears you.So I would just say lean into this. This is our assignment this week Life Church, for all of us, myself included. Let's lean into this sonship this daughter ship idea. Because we fall short as I promise you if you did this exercise like I did this exercise, you see your family of origin and yourself scattered across in many ways across all these sort issues. I don't want issues. And I didn't want you to just just take a moment and say what is it that God's called me too. He is calling you and me right now to rest in the truth that you and I are loved sons and daughters of him if that's true for you. Now, some of y'all may still be stuck on what Chris prayed and what we've saying and what Romans talked about where you and I haven't even received that truth that He died for me, a sinner and ungodly one who was far from him. Of course, we got to get that right first. But once we have come to some conclusions and some satisfaction with that, in that area of our life canWhen it's time for, it's time to grow, it's time to lean into what God has for us. And what He has for us right now. And this season is to bask in the love of the Father so we can get there so that we can get there and sing along with the psalmist. One thing I asked that I would seek, that I may gaze upon your beauty, and dwell in your house all the days in my life, let's pray. Father, we thank You for Your Word. We thank you how you don't leave us wandering or wondering what it is we're supposed to do.That we're supposed to curl up into your lap and call you Abba, Daddy, Father, and I know for many, there's still so many hindrances to getting there.So Father, I just pray that wherever we're at around the room, that we just acknowledge that we acknowledge that our family of origin may have done a number on us that we acknowledge that we may find ourselves lashing out in anger for those around us right now.But that you've got grace for that. But you've got covering for that, and you've got hope, for that, that we can get out of it.By your grace, by your strength and by Your Spirit. We pray all these things. In Christ's name, Amen.

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