#1445 Whisper Let Me Bore You To Sleep – 29th September 2025
Duration: 43 minutes, 20 seconds
View full transcript here

💤 Tone & Style: This is a relaxed, humorous, and rambling monologue in the classic Jason Newland “Let Me Bore You to Sleep” whispering style. His voice is intentionally calming, with meandering commentary designed to lull listeners into a state of relaxation—or sleep. The humour is dry, quirky, and intentionally absurd at times.

🧠 Main Themes & Topics: 1. Meta-humour & Whispering Commentary

Opens by ironically explaining the obvious: that he’s whispering in a “whisper” episode.
Jokes about creating a “shouting” version of the podcast instead.
Playfully mocks his own pauses and the one-sidedness of a podcast.
2. Cultural Commentary & Absurd Observations

Wanders into musings about Conor McGregor as a “living cartoon character.”
Critiques branding changes like Marathon → Snickers and WWF → WWE, insisting on using the original names.
3. UK & US Political Satire

Talks about Keir Starmer (or as he jokingly calls him “Shakira Starmer”), mockingly analyzing his voice and media image.
Laughs about how news graphics accidentally made Starmer and Andy Burnham look like the Kray twins.
Makes absurd connections between past U.S. presidents and cartoon characters (e.g., Ronald McDonald, Donald Duck, etc.).
4. Social Commentary on Migration & British History

Reflects on post-WWII immigration to Britain.
Discusses how people from Commonwealth countries were invited to rebuild the country.
Highlights the irony and mistreatment of these contributors upon arrival.
Mockingly critiques Nigel Farage and far-right movements.
5. Pop Culture & Celebrity Jokes

Comments on a headline about Benny Blanco being the "sexiest man alive" and jokingly compares himself.
Mentions Selena Gomez, questioning if her photo smile is one of joy or discomfort.
6. TV Show Musings

Talks about Jack Ryan, Prison Break, 24, and Lost.
Shares personal anecdotes about binge-watching Prison Break while working on a hypnosis course.
Expresses frustration with rewatching shows but needing context for new seasons.
7. Personal Life & Random Anecdotes

Shares a humorous story about a girlfriend wanting him to take her last name (“Mental”), leading to jokes about being called “Mr. Mental.”
Riffs on the difference between “Miss” and “Ms.”
Jokes about being too messy to live with—so much so that others want to do housework around him.
Closes with a reluctant plan to visit the post office and a reminder to listeners to be kind to themselves.
🪶 Key Quotes:

“I woke up angry about chocolate—that’s weird.”
“I thought Keir Starmer’s name was Shakira Starmer… Shakira, Shakira…”
“Ronald and Reginald—two of the scariest men in London history. Not very scary names.”
“I’d like to have small hands… so I could hold a bigger sandwich. What did you think I meant?”
❤️ Closing Message: Jason wraps up the episode with a warm, gentle reminder: “Be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be happy… and feel safe.”

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