I remember going to church w/ my mom where we'd need to stand while singing. I didn't really like standing that long, so I told Mom my legs were hurting so could I please sit down? She said yes. Sooo the next week, when I wanted to sit down, I intentionally tensed my knee-area so that my legs would hurt. Then I could tell ask my mom again and sit down while not being a dirty liar (we were in church after all). In general, people can sometimes get what they want [attention/emotional support/etc] by making their problems worse (or creating a problem when there's none there). One simple way to achieve this is to have a genuine negative reaction to something, focus on the negative reaction until it grows bigger and bigger, and then act from that emotional state when talking to people who can give [...] ---Outline:(01:56) Where The Pattern was Formed(02:50) Breaking the Pattern For Yourself(03:41) Those Triggered Snowflakes!(04:07) Realizing That Youre on Your Own(05:15) Breaking the Pattern From the Inside The original text contained 3 footnotes which were omitted from this narration. ---
First published:
October 5th, 2025

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/emEmipwkKvjxksohy/making-your-pain-worse-can-get-you-what-you-want
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