It's a holiday. The cousins are over, and the kids are having a great
time. Unfortunately, that includes rampaging through the kitchen.
We're trying to cook, so there's a "no cutting through the kitchen"
rule. Imagine enforcement looks like:







Kid: [dashes into kitchen, pursued by cousin]
Adult: Out of the kitchen!
Kid: Sorry! [Continues their path, leaving through the other door; escapes
pursuit from more rule-abiding cousin]







This doesn't work! The kid got what they wanted out of this interaction, and
isn't going to change their behavior. Instead, I need to make it be not worth
their while:







Kid: [dashes into kitchen, pursued by cousin]
Adult: No cutting through the kitchen! [Physically rebuffs intruder]!
Kid: Sorry! [Forced to leave through the door they entered by; caught by cousin.]







Other examples:







Sneak candy, spit it out and forfeit dessert.

Use sibling's tablet time, lose your own.

Interrupt, be ignored.








The general principle is that if you want to limit behavior the
combination of the gains from rule-breaking and penalty from
punishment need to put the kid in a worse [...] ---
First published:
January 16th, 2026

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/pyuhYvkqX9Lzr6QWX/forfeiting-ill-gotten-gains
---
Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

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