I talked about this in my book, and I want to share with you, why it is good for us when we do good things for others. So sit back and have a listen to this extract from Beyond Possible The Simple Formula for Living The Live you Desire.

My now wife and I performed as a music duo named Pelican Zen for many years. I remember a number of years ago we had been asked to play at the opening of an art exhibition. After the performance, we stayed around to socialise, and I got talking to a gentleman who had recently retired from a career in banking and bank management. He asked me if I made my living from music performance. I explained that it was a part-time hobby and I did it because I enjoyed it. At the time I was working as the Business Development Manager for two sister organisations; one supported people with a disability to gain and maintain employment and the other was a recycling centre. He seemed interested so I discussed some of the projects I had been working on.
Somewhere in the conversation, he said these words to me, “I wish I had understood this when I was younger, you are really doing it, I have spent my whole career focused on making money, I could have done so much more for people, instead I've lost my family, I'm retired and now what?”
Here was a highly-skilled man who had ended up without his family and not knowing what to do with the rest of his life…. I hope he did find a new purpose in his retirement years, but some people don’t.
At the end of the day money, power over others and material possessions do not bring us a sense of fulfilment in life. We do need money to pay for the things we need, and it is ok to buy nice things but if our pursuit of money and material possessions gets more of our attention than the other important things in life, we may end up feeling that our life has no purpose.
Over the years I have read many books about spirituality and self-awareness to understand my beliefs and practices. I have also read books in leadership and management. It struck me a few years ago that it did not matter if I was reading a spiritual book or a leadership book, the same message was coming up over and over again. The people who had achieved a level of skill and success in their spiritual development and/or leadership journey all seemed to understand this same thing. In one way or another, they were all sending this message. If you want to feel a true sense of fulfilment in your life, you need to know in your own heart and mind, that what you are doing is also good for others.
Think about this… we all have our unconscious mind/autopilot guiding our unconscious thoughts, feelings, words and actions based on its programming.
If we want to change the programming, we need to consciously say and do things that teach it the new program.
When we say and do things that are not good for others, we are reinforcing our autopilot’s programming in a way that is not good for us. We might be programming or reinforcing the program that we are a liar, a thief, a violent or abusive person, a manipulative or controlling person, or that we are cowardly, cruel, cynical, defensive, devious, disloyal, disorganised, disrespectful, evasive, evil, foolish, forgetful, frivolous, weak, useless, fussy, gossipy, greedy, selfish, unlikeable or grumpy.
Do any of those character traits excite and inspire you to feel good about yourself? Would you really feel a sense of fulfilment in life if you consciously or unconsciously believed any of those things about yourself?
Your conscious mind can easily choose to not observe your words and actions, even the words and actions that you would consider to be negative or bad if someone else did it. This is called a lack of self-awareness. The thing is, your unconscious mind sees it all; it does not judge you, it just takes in the information and works to manage your life based on the program.
When we say and do things that are good for others, we are reinforcing our autopilot’s programming i

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