Welcome to the hard discussion with honesty. Well, maybe for you this never got as twisted as mine did. My idea of honesty slowly twisted because of trauma and different forms of ancestor trauma I shared in with the family shame. Where do you go when your church is literally part of the shame story? I grew up with a religion that is very very black and white. You're a perfect soul until you act human at all. Leadership years back spoke a hard line of sexual purity while practiced polygamy with 40 wives. It's clear guys for me that isn't okay. Many religions make it quite clear that without an older elder more loving brother that I was an unworthy being. I know this isn't true to my heart and never was. I had base and it was hurt child trauma logic. I believe the lesser heaven was all I was worth. I know it sounds silly now but it would leave me in tears at night in junior high. I am now sending my old self love and I never needed to feel that way but I did find a way out of it all!
How does trauma and addiction and honesty all play together? I know many people who have had to use deceptive practices to protect themselves and then carry the shame forever. At some point we have to cut ties with the old shame and set new boundaries with our inner self. I had to do battle with what honesty really is. Is there an ultimate honesty or is it made up? I found my truth and my joy overflows now. It took time but it did happen.W hat makes something true? Do you believe something is true because others say so? Do you think because I could design and iPad or something similar that I am somehow superior to you? Egoistic intelligence is used a lot to suppress creativity and beauty.
FIRST STEP- Just take sacred space and check in with what your saying to yourself and others. Don't try to fix it just realize and notice first. 
Learning my truth. What can I say? WOW. It has been the most joyful and enlightening journey ever. If me Alexander a guy who lied about everything can become the honest one about everything? Its so amazing we exist in a universe of our creation.

Go ahead call it blasphemy. Judge away. I promise the cost is yours. I am also grateful to the spiritual masters and older brothers but I NEVER EVER will give my power away to something external again. I will speak my truth and I will radiate my light from the highest point. If you're ready to get honest and get a little bit brave i guarantee that you can have a life of joy and bliss. What the mystics taught aside from the corrupt modern religions based in fear. 

Get honest with yourself and begin to free many many souls from their own deceptions. You don't need to save anyone but yourself and there is help.

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