Hey there! Welcome to Imperfectly Pollyanna. A podcast where we have real and honest talk while finding the positive in the imperfections. I am your host, Courtney, and I am SO glad you are here!Have you ever had plans for your life that just didn’t work out like you expected? Today I’d like to chat about a topic that is a huge passion of mine. Homeschooling. But not only that, I want to share about what to do when things get thrown down the drain.Our community has seen a GIGANTIC influx of families searching for help due to being thrown into a world of learning from home. Whether they chose the path of school at home, an online virtual school, or the traditional homeschool route…people have been desperate for help. Granted, some have said they had already been considering it where others were not happy at all at this unplanned and uncontrolled decision that was made for them due to the 2020 pandemic. So, the question today is…Can there be GOOD in the UNEXPECTED?As I grew and thought of my future children, I always had this idea in my head of what it would look like for them…assuming they’d attend the same schools as I did and doing the similar activities with fun experiences they’d cherish for years to come. I wanted them to have a biblical foundation. I wanted to have those same memories with them of ME being the “field trip parent.” So much of what I had in my mind was of my OWN desires. My OWN plan. Once our oldest was born, and nearing the time of school age, my husband and I started discussing options. We couldn’t afford my old private school. We made too much for financial aid and not enough to afford the insane monthly tuition, on top of books and activity costs. I was crushed. I had in my head that if things were not exactly how I had pictured, then my child – and future children – were destined to become heathens. As if the choice of school was the only thing to determine that. But in our discussions, my husband and I brought up the idea of homeschooling. What would I do when I didn’t understand the material? What if I didn’t meet the standard requirements? What if I just wasn’t good enough? And the biggest fear: What. If. I. Fail. Him????Could I really do it, though? At the time I was working full time, doing a 12-hour shift that tended to last up to 16 hours some days. My husband was also working full time and our parents helped with our son when we were both working. All I knew was that the world was cruel and, understandably, I wanted to protect the child we had worked so hard to get. What if he ended up being the weirdo that people categorize homeschoolers? What about missing out on all the things I thought kids should get to experience growing up? What about friends? Extracurricular activities? And the ongoing question ANYONE asks: How WILL he socialize?!Once we looked into our state’s homeschool laws, we decided to give it a try one year at a time. It was FUN! Until it wasn’t. Until my son cried because he HATED coloring. He hated sitting still. Hated worksheets. Had no interest in what we were doing anymore.I was frustrated and discouraged. I felt like I had failed, and we weren’t even halfway through the year.So I threw out the curriculum. Went back to trying to have FUN with my kid. Until it wasn’t. AGAIN.I went back to my “buddy”, my sister-in-law, in desperation. I feared I had failed him again and now he would need to go to “regular school” but would be behind. I had let him down.Howevver, from there, things began to look up.Have we had a smooth road ever since? Absolutely not.Are we still using the same curriculum 6 years later? Also, no.In fact, it took us several years of switching things around to find our own groove. About the time that happened, along came little sister who was totally opposite in her learning style.I struggle every single year, multiple times, with fighting the worry that I am not doing enough for my kids. I compare them to other homeschooling families. Even to public school kids. I have wondered if I should’ve done something different all those years ago. Maybe just sucked up the fear of “regular school” and gone that route.However, I can tell you now with confidence that after the train wreck that was 2020, I believe the decision we made 7 years ago to do this “just one year at a time” was truly God preparing us and protecting these children He gave us to raise. 100%. See, my job as their mother is not to simply raise them to “fit in” to society’s expectations. My job is to raise them to be functioning adults by the time they are 18. My job is to teach them how to be independent, kind humans. My job? Is to raise them to know the Lord and let Him guide them. That, my friend, is the main reason I homeschool now. Maybe you’ve chosen to homeschool or you were forced to do some sort of school at home. I will tell you that those two things? Are NOT the same. Completely different worlds, honestly. Anyone who is in the wellness field will tell you that if you work at a computer all day then you are at a higher risk for certain health issues so it is important to get up and move. When a baby is neglected from human touch, studies have shown there is a change in their brain chemistry. Yes, I know that this was not under our control. Yet, we’ve allowed fear to control how our children are being raised. There is a difference between being wise and fearful. Things that happen outside of what we think they should always be - a lot of times are the things we need to let go.I do my own mom-school. In fact, it is because of our new normal that I showed my kids how to have an interest, research it, and work hard to accomplish it…and that interest for me was this podcast. As parents, we must find what works best for us and our children. I’m pretty sure it never ends up being what we originally planned. This doesn’t mean we failed. Quite the opposite really. It is by being willing to pivot when something isn’t working that shows our children what it means to learn from mistakes and make better choices. It shows them how to be resilient. I know many say “Well, homeschooling isn’t for me” or “I could never homeschool.” This year, I have read social media posts, one after another, about admiring homeschool moms because they could never do what we do, and they are losing their minds over virtual school. Like I said earlier, those two things are NOT the same. I will also tell you that this year has not been a cake walk for homeschoolers either with things shut down, including co-ops. There is no judgement for those who didn’t want to choose this route and are full of bitterness and frustration. I want you to know, if you are struggling with homeschooling or virtual school. Maybe you are struggling just feeling like a good parent in general because the world seems to be going down in flames. Guess what? That is a LIE. You CAN do this. You are fully capable. I believe that ANYONE can homeschool – as in the traditional route – if given the right support and resources. When we let go, and let God, He can make things possible we couldn’t even imagine.Be encouraged. Just about the time you think all hope is lost and you have failed your children. That’s when the real growth begins and you might just be pleasantly surprised at the GOOD that comes out of it all.While we started with the question: Can there be GOOD in the UNEXPECTED? The better question would be: Are you willing to SEE it? I am hoping this podcast finds its way to someone who may be needing some positivity with her faith, homeschool, health or life. If that’s you, you’ve found a friend who understands. If you have someone in mind that might relate, please share this podcast with her. I’d love to connect so make sure to subscribe and then send me a quick hello over to imperfectlypollyanna.com!  Remember, you are loved and I am GLAD you are here. See you next time!Cathy DuffyAll About SpellingHomeschool LawsFacebook: Imperfectly PollyannaInstagram: Imperfectly Pollyanna
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