Author and prison therapist Robin Casarjian reframes the act of forgiveness not to condone hurtful behavior, but as a shift in perception that allows us not to take someone’s else’s misconduct so personally. Casarjian has spent decades teaching forgiveness. Drawing on her own experience of having been abused — and learning how to move on — she noticed that some people don’t regard forgiveness as an option for themselves. The implication, she says, is “I’m not going to do a favor” to someone who was hurtful. In fact, she says, forgiveness is a favor we do for ourselves. “We do it to release ourselves from the negative power that somebody has over us.”

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