The death of a pet is a very challenging event in a young child's life, and they need guidance from their teachers, parents or grandparents to help them make sense of this loss.In this episode I talk about how you can help grieving children cope with their feelings, and the role monsters play in helping you both understand their fears.The 6 stages of help:1/ Creative expression. make time to draw, paint, play with clay freely. Making this space gives the child permission to express their feelings without pressure or exception, and to represent their fears safely.2/Routine. The loss of a pet is often a child’s first experience with death, and the circumstances of the death, whether it was from old age or a sudden accident, will affect the way a child grieves the loss. Maintaining a regular routine helps a child cope with increased anxiety.3/ Acceptance. A child’s age and developmental level affect how he or she understands death, and a child’s grief looks very different from an adult’s. 4/ Keep it real.  School-age children will often have questions about the animal’s death, and the back-and-forth that ensues may open up larger conversations about love, loss and what happens after we die. Be honest about what happened.5/ Rituals. For many children, it is also important to have a goodbye ritual. Create your own rituals, like having a small memorial service, scattering the pet’s ashes, planting a remembrance tree or creating a photo album. In school, you could be making a memorial stone or, a 'shared text' exercise which I talk about in more detail on the podcast.6/ Signposts. Increased anxiety can manifest in different ways in children: loss of appetite, loss of sleep, lack of interest in playing games or attending school, lack of interest in being sociable, and these are some of the signs to look out for in children, because this is their way of flagging up their anxiety. However, it’s not the issue per se that we need to focus on, doing so may only make this worse. For example, getting tough with the child about finishing their food may only exacerbate the issue for them. What they want is for us to help them acknowledge their feelings which are driving their behaviour, so the sadness and loneliness they may feel as a result of losing their pet is acknowledged and processed.The Dying Matters is an excellent resource to help you talk about death and bereavement www.dyingmatters.org For more information on supporting children through grief and loss, you can Purchase my book Helping Children Cope with Loss and Change Stay Connectedwww.amandaseyderhelm.comTwitter @The KidDecoderInstagram @amandaseyderhelm 

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