The Plant Kingdom and the Animal Kingdom have always lived in a delicate, symbiotic peace. The animals kindly exhale carbon dioxide for the plants to breathe, and the plants pull nutrition from the dirt and create delicious fruits. But then humans tear asunder the ancient armistice for their Valentine’s Day Massacre. Billions of innocent roses are ripped from their roots in the annual purge. Carnations are carnaged… all to present a fleeting token of affection to our sweethearts. But has defeating these frail, fragrant foes really proven our valor? Show some love with Mat and Veronique as we donate our wit in lieu of Flowers!



*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.



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