Oh, I'm so sad. Are you sad? Did you miss us last week? Were you sitting around with your bullshit family, wishing you could just go home and listen to podcasts? Looking across the room at your stupid aunt, watching the way people somehow never stop talking but also never once say a single goddamn thing. You take a big helping of stuffing and mac&cheese that tastes like America: land of the brave, home of the fat r-word. Christmas is coming and it increasingly doesn't matter. All your gifts are on credit cards. Here we go...

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