Hannah Wilson and Lucy Neuburger return with humour, honesty, and big ideas. This episode imagines what education could look like if teachers ran the system – from the perfect Education Secretary to rebuilding trust, creativity, and sanity in schools.Teacher Rest & RechargingHannah’s post-Ibiza glow sparks talk of real rest. The pair joke about “teacher retreats” where everything is organised for you — no decisions, no marking. Their message: teacher wellbeing isn’t a luxury; it’s essential for sustainability.The Ideal Education SecretaryIf teachers ran the Department for Education, the first rule would be simple: the Secretary must have actually taught. Bridget Phillipson’s recent comments about teachers “needing training” on handling parents are dissected — both find them tone-deaf and politically convenient. Hannah points to research on rising parental aggression and headteacher stress, while Lucy notes that the real issue is policy disconnect, not communication skills.They also highlight the lack of women’s voices in government consultations — despite women making up most of the workforce — and call for authentic representation from classroom teachers and middle leaders, not just CEOs and influencers.Funding, Trusts & AccountabilityLucy critiques the multi-academy trust system: “It’s failed on so many levels.” From CEOs’ inflated pay to schools losing money to centralised budgets, the model, she argues, has eroded fairness. Hannah calls for Ofsted to inspect trusts as rigorously as schools, suggesting random sampling to ensure transparency. Their solution? Fund schools directly and stop treating accountability as punishment.What Teachers Really WantPay rises help, but both agree teachers mainly want resources — smaller classes, proper SEND provision, and stable staffing. They recall when local authorities offered better community support and argue that restoring local control could rebuild trust and collaboration.What a Real Education Secretary Should UnderstandLucy says the role must go beyond education — into social care, mental health, and community systems. Hannah adds that leaders need to speak the language of education. Jargon and political spin have alienated decision-makers from the classroom reality. Their motto: “Policy without pedagogy is just politics.”Curriculum & ExamsIn their dream system:Teachers mark their own exams, moderated externally.Maths includes real-world finance – taxes, debt, mortgages.GCSEs drop one academic subject in favour of personal development, emotional intelligence, and life skills.It’s about trust, relevance, and respect for teacher judgment.Ofsted, Nando Scales & Honest FeedbackThey mock Labour’s proposed multi-colour Ofsted grading (“the Nando scale”). Instead, they want narrative reports celebrating strengths and identifying next steps — no more one-word judgments. Accountability should feel constructive, not punitive.Research & Professional GrowthLucy argues for government-funded sabbaticals so teachers can do research and reflect, while Hannah envisions one research-lead post per school to embed inquiry into everyday practice. Both call for evidence-based policy rooted in trust, not ideology.Glue Sticks, Erasable Pens & Classroom ChaosThe pair spiral into nostalgic joy: missing glue-stick lids, erasable pens, and EYFS masterpieces made from toilet rolls. It’s funny but meaningful — creativity thrives in imperfection.Their Final VisionIf Hannah and Lucy ran education:Replace Ofsted grades with narrative feedback.Fund schools properly and equitably.Reconnect education, health, and social care.Hold national assemblies on inclusion, equality, and empathy.Value wellbeing, creativity, and trust above all.Their final line says it all: “If you get education right, you fix half of society.”Honest, funny and full of purpose — this episode is teachers dreaming aloud about what education could be if those who lived it made the rules.

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