After three years with stomach cancer, neuropathy stole Aunt Paula's ability to stand long enough to cook from scratch - the thing that defined her. But instead of becoming someone who receives casseroles, she became a kitchen director. Now visitors chop during their stay, cousins cook while they chat. This is about asking for help differently, why caregivers are relieved to skip the errands, and how to keep your identity when your body won't cooperate. Because you're still the cook, you just have sous chefs now. 

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