“I didn’t walk in here and I’m not leaving.” That’s an example of paradoxical and misleading language. That was uttered by a drunk colleague, but “triple speak” is often deliberately unleashed to confound and confuse.

Politicians virtually never answer the question they’re asked. They divert it. “Are you in favor of reduced taxes?” is met with, “Let me tell you first about my ardent support for social security.” Flight attendants wish us a pleasant “final destination” which is as redundant as one can be. Your destination is final.

We’re offered “a second product free” on midnight infomercials, if we only pay the “shipping and handling” which cost about the same as the original product! Emergency vehicles urge us to keep back several hundred feet, but you have to be closer than that to read the warning.

How many of you have never removed your mattress label because you think the tag says it’s illegal to do so?! One of my favorites from most conmen is, “Are you going to believe me or your lying eyes?”

Triple speak is often not deliberate, but has become a default obfuscation of our times, leading us astray, going around the block to get next door, and fogging over what would otherwise be obvious.

Join me as we try to sort this out. A stiff drink may be needed.

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