This is part 1 of abattoirketchup178 where a crazed septuagenarian man makes it his mission to extricate people from earth by forging a new reality outside of the body. Naturally he doesn’t know where to begin, but a breadcrumb trail presents itself. Follow him as he rears geese, wrestles librarians in the British Library, makes world record attempts to get the money for a plane ticket to Cairo and generally writhes around on the floor in fear and bewilderment.

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