“I feel the need…the need for speed.” This iconic Tom Cruise line in Top Gun accurately describes the drive that many teenagers feel while they work to create space between their parents and themselves. They want   freedom and independence, and they can’t get it fast enough. Parents, on the other hand, bear the responsibility of slowing things down by asking important questions about safety, direction, and destination. This process is normal and healthy. 
But with adopted children, the need for speed is combined with the urge to constantly “buzz the tower.” They can’t seem to resist doing things to make you spill your coffee and then laugh in your face. Why do they do this? Can anything be done to stop it or lessen its frequency or intensity. And what can parents do to cope with this behavior which seems intentional at times, and at other times like the subconscious working out of pain from a past they can’t remember. 
On this episode of a Time to Sharpen we’ll dig into this difficult questions. Sometimes, as the best we hope for is to be a aircraft carrier that’s just there…and ready to help them land when they feel the "need" to slow down. 

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