#235: What Attachment Theory Does (& Does Not) Explain

Attachment theory has become a widely used framework for understanding relationship patterns — but it’s often misunderstood, overextended, or treated as a complete explanation for human behaviour.In this episode, I revisit the foundations of attachment theory to clarify what attachment is actually designed to explain, what attachment styles describe, and where the limits of the framework are. This is a back-to-basics conversation intended to bring nuance and accuracy to how we use attachment language — especially in romantic relationships.In this episode, I cover:What attachment styles are really describing: relational stress and our habitual responses to itWhy attachment styles are not fixed, mutually exclusive categories — and how spectrums work in practiceHow attachment patterns are contextually responsive and can shift across different relationshipsWhat attachment theory explains — and what it was never meant to explainHow our attachment blueprint shapes our internal working model, even beyond close relationshipsWhy attachment is best used as a tool, not a totalising explanation for yourself or othersIf you’ve ever felt confused, boxed in by attachment labels, or frustrated by how attachment theory is used online, this episode offers a clearer and more grounded way of thinking about it.Take my free attachment quiz