Have you ever walked into a room and felt completely out of place? That feeling is what we call ‘comparing out’, focusing on all the ways you’re different from everyone else. On the flip side, there are moments when you step into a room and immediately think, “Ah yes, these are my people.” That’s ‘relating in.’
When I first attended sobriety meetings, I couldn’t help but notice how much older everyone was in that particular noon meeting. Many were retired or had lost jobs or homes due to drinking, and I felt like I didn’t belong. At stroke support meetings, I fixated on how everyone’s disabilities were visibly apparent, unlike mine. My tendency to compare out made it difficult to listen and connect.
But once I allowed myself to really hear what others were saying, I noticed unmistakable similarities in our stories. Those moments of recognition were what kept me coming back. Comparing out builds walls and creates excuses that block us from growth and healing. Relating in, on the other hand, opens the door to connection and understanding. By listening to others, I’ve gained the tools and perspective I need to better understand myself.
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#RelatingIn #FindingConnection #RecoveryJourney #ListeningToHeal #StopComparing #MentalWellbeing #HealingTogether #SobrietySupport #CommunityMatters #BuildingBelonging

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