Why does criticism feel like a punch to the gut when you have ADHD? And why do so many women with ADHD go undiagnosed for decades?In this bold and eye-opening episode, bestselling author and podcast host Tracy Otsuka joins Alice to unpack how rejection shows up in the ADHD brain, and why it’s often misunderstood, minimized, or masked.Tracy shares the brain science behind rejection-sensitive dysphoria, the gendered shame baked into our understanding of ADHD, and how her son’s diagnosis ultimately led to her own. You’ll hear candid stories of failure, identity shifts, and the powerful moment a psychologist told her to lower her expectations for her child.You’ll hear:What rejection does to the ADHD brain (and why your mind feels like it “goes offline”)The truth behind why girls often go undiagnosed until adulthoodHow masking, people-pleasing, and perfectionism fuel burnoutThe timer trick Tracy swears by for getting started (even when it feels impossible)Why ADHD is not a productivity problem—it’s an identity oneThis is an episode about shame, stigma, and how to rewrite your internal narrative, on your terms.Chapters:00:50 Intro01:18 The label 'too much' and early rejection03:38 Shame, gender norms, and ADHD in women06:53 What happens in the ADHD brain during rejection10:28 Learned helplessness and internalized criticism12:44 Why girls are misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression13:41 Hormones, dopamine, and maturity-onset ADHD17:02 Moving from inaction to identity-based action22:26 Fun, challenging, and social—the ADHD productivity trifecta25:52 Building a trustworthy identity with micro-habits30:31 Tracy’s time cube hack for procrastination35:00 How her son's diagnosis led to her own38:28 “Your son is too ambitious”—a psychologist’s rejection42:34 How diagnosis changed Tracy’s self-perception45:14 The rejection that comes from not trusting yourself50:50 Where to find Tracy and her workResources & Links:Tracy’s book: ADHD for Smart Ass WomenTracy’s podcast: ADHD for Smart Ass WomenWebsite & Programs: ADHDforSmartWomen.com

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