Listen "NEW SERIES: Spiritual questions that people ask in therapy: Am I selfish if I say no? "
Episode Synopsis
Today's questions: My mother has a very giving nature, she never kept anything for herself, if she just brought herself a new outfit and someone said to her that they liked it she would say, "here have it!"
The flip side of that is that she expects everyone else to be the same way, if I was playing with a toy and another child came over and wanted to play with it then she expected me to give it up… if I didn’t I was called selfish, and told I had bad middos… now as an adult I am trying to learn about how to have healthy boundaries, and I find that I have a lot of confusion and internal chaos, around this area, when I say no I have a voice in my head that is saying you are selfish and you have bad middos and when I say yes I feel resentful and then I have another voice in my head that says see how crazy you are you can never be happy for anyone… and then I feel guilt and like a horrible person… so my question is, could it be true that I just have bad middos? Am I selfish if I say no?
The flip side of that is that she expects everyone else to be the same way, if I was playing with a toy and another child came over and wanted to play with it then she expected me to give it up… if I didn’t I was called selfish, and told I had bad middos… now as an adult I am trying to learn about how to have healthy boundaries, and I find that I have a lot of confusion and internal chaos, around this area, when I say no I have a voice in my head that is saying you are selfish and you have bad middos and when I say yes I feel resentful and then I have another voice in my head that says see how crazy you are you can never be happy for anyone… and then I feel guilt and like a horrible person… so my question is, could it be true that I just have bad middos? Am I selfish if I say no?
More episodes of the podcast Chassidus, through the eyes of a psychotherapist
Ch. 43 Part 3 - The Emergency Prescription
08/07/2025
Ch. 43 Part 2 - Two Types Of Love
08/07/2025
Ch. 40 Part 4 - Two Types Of Love
08/07/2025
Ch. 25 Part 3 - Staying In Oneness
08/07/2025
Ch. 24 Part 2 - Temporary Insanity
08/07/2025
Ch. 23 Part 1- Being G-ds Limb
08/07/2025
Ch. 20 Part 2 - G-ds Infinite Creative Power
08/07/2025
Ch. 20 Part 1 - Creation Didn't Change G-d
08/07/2025
ZARZA We are Zarza, the prestigious firm behind major projects in information technology.