Once my British friend asked me “What do you think of the idea of unification?” She was asking me about “Taiwan issue”. And I answered “Of course, there will be unification because we are of the same culture and history, but the problem is, by which side to be unified; personally, I, as mainlander, prefer to be unified by Taiwan, you know what I mean” She answered “ I see”. She is one of my best friends so she got me instantly. But when I put the similar answer on Quora, someone commented below my response, accusing me a fake Chinese as a Chinese himself.I was speechless because I didn’t know how to prove I was a Chinese who was born and lived all the time in China, and never been abroad before. By the way, now I am not, I am not in China, so I dear to speak for myself, and you can hear me right now. I don’t need to prove myself, that’s a stupid ask, and more stupid if one really answer it. But one thing that I am sure based on the population of my country, is that I am not unique enough to be the only one who has a different voice in 1.4 billion people. I remember, in 2019, I used VPN to project the presidential debate in Taiwan on my TV screen (Yeah, in Mao’s age, my behavior is definitely a traiter). And I clearly remember that I celebrated with a glass of beer when CaiYingwen won because I was betting on her victory before the election. So I remember the good feeling that I was right. Then a month later, the Covid came. Everything changed, and I hardly payed attention to Taiwan the days after, except two moments.One is when I heard the news that Taiwan is agreed to move TSMC from its land into US. “Not wise, my pal” That’s my inner comments.For your reference, TSMC is a manufacturer for chips, and it’s kind of monopoly in its field. In other words, China can replicate everything else in Taiwan if really one day it conquered the land, but not this one. And Taiwan’s economic status is heavily relied on it, especially during this era of AI. “You should keep it as your shield rather than hand the hostage to your rescuer. Then they got no reason to rescue you or you may get a ruthless rescuer without the fear of any collateral damage.” In each scenario, it looks bad to me. Me, again, probably not a typical mindset for Chinese mainlander. Another moment is when Nancy Pelosi visited Taiwan. Somehow, the government’s propaganda put too much weight at that time that Chinese people got an illusion that the government would really shoot down Pelosi’s plane if she landed on Taiwan, then the World War Three begins. So that night, almost all the Chinese were watching the live streaming of Pelosi’s flight. But I was having a quite relaxing and funny day on that day. I was filtering with a cute guy from HongKong. And I found he was also watching the live-streaming as he didn’t answer my message. So afterwards, he said, yeah he was watching it, and he was frustrated that China didn’t really shoot down the plane. I was half joking and half testing , I said “Isn’t it better not to have war?” He said, it’s just rather humiliating. Then I got the conclusion in my mind: he was a fake Hongkonger. “Why did you buy the propaganda as mainlanders did? And you feel humiliated? Such a typical corky chauvinist mainlander mindset. Didn’t you just lose your Hongkong to mainland a year before.Standing with the big power doesn’t empower you, sucker” That’s again, my inner voice. Anyway, after that, my romantic bubble evaporated all of a sudden. Despite he’s good-looking, I just can’t stand what’s in his brain.

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